The two words almost seem synonymous. Heck, even the lead character guy dreamt of flying the biggest, baddest thing he could find. Don’t we all? I prefer the F-18 Hornet, but if I was on a planet 150+ years in the future, that big, red, badass of a pterodactyl would have been my choice as well.

Whenever there is an aviation aspect to a movie, I key in on the accuracies of it all. Just a habit. I was a pilot for 14 years in the Marine Corps (and continuing in the reserves until this whole writing/acting gig grabs hold), so it’s kind of second nature to critique movies on their attention to detail. Seems comical, considering it was TOP GUN that added JP-5 to an aviation flame that was burning in me as a teenager. It wasn’t exactly accurate, but it was a damn fun movie. I have that “rock n roll in the sky” creation of Simpson/Bruckheimer to thank for steering me on a path that includes combat missions from an aircraft carrier, to attending Top Gun itself, then an amazing three years with the Blue Angels.

The magic of flight still seems to resonate as a childhood dream everywhere, and most movies in the cinema touch on the subject if there are ever children characters involved. Even subtle clues, such as a model airplane on the dresser or a poster of military jets, can say a lot about the filmmaker’s connection to aviation. One of the best films of 2009, UP, is based on a man’s dream of flight and adventure. Sure, there is an amazing story of love and life that carries the film, but it begins with him flying in an imaginary plane to ending by piloting the biggest airship in the world, aptly named, the “Spirit of Adventure.” And where else can you possibly see dogs piloting biplanes in a futile attack on the mother-of-all airships?

A lot of filmmakers tend to use either stock footage, or the director films random aircraft arriving and departing from an airport, then use clips as transitions throughout the film. One of the biggest errors? The movie shows the main character landing in a different airplane that he/she took off in. TAKING CHANCE did this horribly. Sure, it was the same company (Northwest…Now Delta.), but you can’t takeoff in an MD then land in a 737. Tough to do.

A little sidetracked there. OK, back to AVATAR.

So, the Na’vi plug into the flying creatures with their braid and steer with their thoughts? Got it. Cool concept. In fact, I thought the same thing as I “plugged in” to a T-34 during my early flights as a Student Naval Aviator over Northwest Florida. Of course, plugging in to a T-34 was really just using the relief tube. That’s right, theres a small funnel with a plastic tube that drains out the bottom of the aircraft. I have literally pissed all over the panhandle of Florida. No offense. In fact, I love the area. Well, most of it… Maintenance guys didn’t really like you using the thing, and they may not even exist anymore. Thinking back on it, most of my wingmen at the time would use the thing out of novelty as well, and they weren’t very selective on their Pensacola Beach “MiG kills” every weekend. Probably a good way to spread some tasty STD’s. I guess I got lucky. Bottom line, I never was able to fly the T-34 through my thoughts via the relief tube. And I can tell you that the increased suction with higher airspeed on the backside of a loop is negligible. Don’t try it. Seriously.

I had to almost close my eyes when the two lead Na’vi characters “debriefed” their first flight cliffside with their hands. Sure, us pilots talk with our hands a lot, and I guess that wouldn’t change 150 years from now, but Mr. Cameron barely stopped short of placing a Breitling on their wrists in true aviator fashion. The clip was all of 5 seconds, but enough to produce a slight guffaw out of me.

And were those oakley blades issued to the “pilot-hunters”? Just curious.

Now, over to the “Sky People” and their gear. Awesome new aircraft/spacecraft. The machinery and weapons in AVATAR are really frigging cool. I cannot wait to see all this go down on IMAX. Yes, I’ll be seeing this one again on the big screen.

Here we are 150+ years into the future, and the lead pilot is a Hispanic woman with some cojones. I like it. In fact, I hope the armed services can start recruiting women pilots just like her RIGHT NOW. I would gladly stick around for another 20 years. As much as I enjoyed the tank top cut to show a little more cleavage, the Ray-ban Aviators worn inside the base started to get a little old. It is good to see those stereotypes alive, however, and all while deployed on another planet, well into the future.

The hover/rotor/jetcraft thing she flew was pretty sweet, but I can’t imagine for the life of me why the co-pilot seat would be empty the entire film (insert needless NFO or First Officer bashing here). If something isn’t needed, I would imagine we’d have the technology, and the common sense, to either plant a co-pilot in the seat or just rip it out of there. And since when is the Pilot-in-command or “Captain” seated on the right side? Since man started flying, we’ve been boarding aircraft from the left side, and the Captain has traditionally sat on the left side. Again, things could change in the future, but we’ve made it 100 years doing it this way, why would it change after the second hundred. By the way, I’ve been told its origins are based on military cavalry and what side they would mount their horses from.

One of the best characters in the whole film was the badass Colonel played by Stephen Lang. However, the I’m-gonna-stand-here-while-everyone-else-is-strapped-in gag of him in the command ship went a hair too far, in my humble opinion. I could almost smell the napalm as “charlie” surfed, while the Colonel paced the cockpit carrying a cup o’ joe. This guy was badass enough already, and you just can’t top Robert Duvall as LtCol Kilgore in APOCOLYPSE NOW as he attacks the village. So don’t rehash a scene from 30 years ago. I’m a fan of coffee when I fly, and I realize what Mr. Cameron was going for here, but there could have been more realistic ways to accomplish his badassery. At least put a cover on the coffee so nothing is spilled during the shockwaves from the giant fucking explosions just in front of the ship. Oh, wait. The ship was unaffected by that. Right…

So, the “tree of life” vortex disables the aircrafts navigation systems. Gotcha. Well, wouldn’t they have an effect on the same guidance systems in the air-to-ground missiles? Then, the big, tense moment as they carried the conex box with the avatar link under the aircraft, deep into mountainous territory, was because they were supposed to be “VMC only”? Really? Actually, right now I can’t remember if it was VMC or VFR, but either way, it got a laugh out of me. Real dangerous stuff there…

I’ve written a couple aviation-based scripts, and I tend to ground a lot of the description in reality. It’s what we’re doing today, and it’s exciting enough for me while I fly it, why wouldn’t it be on film? OK, the scripts haven’t even sold yet, and AVATAR is about to smash most movie box office records. Fair enough. Who am I to judge?

All the friendly jabs aside, I hope Mr. Cameron’s depiction of the future of flight is somewhat accurate. Not only was there cool gear, but there were actual HUMANS at the controls. Just a couple weeks ago the Joint Chief of Staff, Admiral Mullen, was inclined to think JSF was the last manned fighter. Ouch. Sucks for the kids out there today with the “Spirit of Adventure.” Flying UAV’s might not be quite the same as tightening down the shoulder straps and heading into a tasty one v one with a MiG. Of course, you wouldn’t have to worry about spilling your Starbucks while at the remote console.

“Loni’s turning in.” “Left to left.” “Fight’s on!”

(Aviation and Military Advisor plug: If there are filmmakers out there working with aviation or military material, I’m available to take a pass at it if you’re interested. It won’t cost you an arm and a leg, and you just might be happy with the results.)